Red Light, Green Light

I'm not very festive. I've never really understood the whole Christmas thing. So, there was a Jewish guy that was killed, then came back to life - voila! - in order to forgive all our sins, so we need to string up lights, chop down trees and max out the Visa card in order to celebrate his birthday (which really wasn't on 12/25). Right? Lately the pressure in my neighborhood has become so great, the decorations just keep getting bigger and bigger that I gave in and bought some party lights at Home Depot. I put one red and one green in the front and the same on the side. That looked stupid. Too Dr. Seuss. So I went all red in the front and all green on the side. Now the front looks like a brothel. Sort of seedy. Sort of cranky house on the street. Perfect.

Bah Humbug.