Oh, Boy

I was walking the dog the other night and I saw a mom and her probably three year old daughter standing in their doorway, waving good-bye as a car pulled out of the driveway. The little girl yelled, "Bye, Nana!" and grandma yelled back, "I love you." The little girl paused a bit and then in her high squeaky voice ..."I love you sssooooooo much!" It was adorable. Kind of made me miss having a little person around. Shana was like that. She was usually pretty happy, pretty content, pretty sure that most people in her life worshipped the ground she walked on. I still get the "I love you"s from her every single day and now that she's home for the summer they don't just stare at me in a text message. I don't think that I could have ever had that if I had a boy. I always had this weird fear that I might not love a boy as much and I'd have to spend the rest of my life faking it. That mother-son relationship always seemed a bit bizarre to me, something that I probably couldn't do too well. Give me a girl, somebody I can talk to, somebody I can hang out with. Plus, I didn't really know much about boys. I have a sister. Neither my dad nor Shawn is a testosterony macho, camping and sports loving he-man and even my first boyfriend turned out to bat for the other team. So when I was four months pregnant and the ultrasound guy told me I was having a boy, I went home and cried. Seriously. Eventually I calmed down, bought a few cute little boy outfits and adjusted. But when my seven month ultrasound showed actual "little girl parts" I was thrilled. I admitted it out loud and decided never to take that chance again.