Away in the Manger

Once upon a time there was a nice Jewish girl named Mary that got knocked up. She was so afraid to tell her parents what really happened, she went with the I'm-still-a-virgin-and-I'm-carrying-the-son-of-God Immaculate Conception story. Of course they didn't believe her right away, but eventually Mary wore them down. You go, Mare Bear! Frankly, I'm surprised the story's not used on grandparents-to-be more often by some of our more modern young ladies. I mean, even these days, what faithful, middle-aged woman wouldn't absolutely kill to be God's mother-in-law? So, Mary's fancy pregnancy proceeded and she went on to deliver Jesus. Many people have said he wasn't really born in December, as what we materialists have come to know as Christmas (Christ more, for you Spanish-speaking folks), but rather in the spring. Due to scheduling conflicts with the Spring Festival, however, it was moved to a winter month, preferably right after Hanukah and with plug-in lights in order to steal some of its thunder. Plus, Santa in bermuda shorts and sandals? Just doesn't have the same panache. I'm fuzzy on the rest of the happenings, but there was a manger and a petting zoo and Jesus grew up and wore Birkenstocks and was a super nice, benevolent guy and somehow, so people in future generations could sin all they want and then be forgiven by saying, "Oops, sorry," he ended up nailed to a cross (proof that Dick Cheney is a lot older than he looks) and then Jesus died. But then, wait for it...a miracle happened. Three days later, Jesus rose from the dead, causing Mary's parents such embarrassment for initially doubting her no-really-I-wasn't-out-rolling-in-the-haystacks-with-neighbor-boy-Billy story, giving believers and non-believers alike another three day weekend.

God knows, I love a good three day weekend :)

Then some other things happened (as soon as I get through the Comparative Religions class at SCC, I'll fill in some more important "facts"), but the greatest part is some of the family peeps and I get to celebrate all this by buying new white shoes and having a delicious brunch on a beautiful day down at The Farm, complete with pecan trees, cute chickens walking around and Hollandaise sauce!

Amen to that!