So, a man walked into a bar with a three-legged pig...but instead of stand-up comedy at the hospital today, we got a new doctor, a Napoleon-like surgeon with a gaggle of residents scampering behind, hanging on every word as he conducted the room with a there's a new sheriff in town flourish. I'm the new captain of the ship, he said, launching into a mixed metaphor melee - cowboys and Indians circling the wagons, bombs away, M.A.S.H., smart fruit falling off a strong tree until he sucked all the air out of the room with his charismatic ego, seeming to push ex-Captain Internal Medicine right down the plank. He gave a kind of wimpy Cub Scout salute and as I watched him walk away all I could do was hope he would hurry up and turn this ship around and hand the helm back over to the rightful owner, Old Wildcat.
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