Mah Jongg Loser

I'm on a mah jongg losing streak. I know it's not supposed to be about winning, it's about the comraderie, the friendship, the laughs, the therapy, the cracks, the bams, the Chex Mix. But, jeez, my maj bag is almost empty from paying out winnings to everybody else. Maybe I try too hard. I'm usually playing two hands at once, trying to go for the bigger win, the prettier hand. We've got one player that always sticks to just one or two favorite hands, rarely goes out of the box and never, ever plays defensively. She wins more than me.  But recently even everybody else that puts effort in to it like I do seems to win more than me, too. I remember a long ago winning streak where I even faked losing one night because I felt so guilty winning so many times. At least, that will never happen again.