Whitey

I put on some shorts for the first time in months and the glare from my legs was unbearable. I slapped on some tanning lotion, waited a few hours.

Now I'm orange and I smell funny.

SAHM

I was a stay at home mom today. Yeah, so I don't have a kid here anymore, but that's what it felt like. I ditched work, threw on some sweat pants and a hoodie and met an old friend after she dropped her daughter off at the bus stop. We went for a long walk, just like I used to do with the old gang after dropping off Shana, jabbering on and on about everything - the kids, the husband, the ex-husband, the ex-husband's new girlfriend, the boyfriend, the money, the Viagra, the ballet lessons, the study abroad program and the son taller than the mom now until we came back around. I  scooted back to my side of town and met up with another friend at Einstein's, just like I used to do with Shana's school moms, chatting for a couple more hours - more kids, more husband, ex-husband (well, maybe there weren't so many ex-husbands back then), ex-husband's girlfriend, boyfriend, telephone conference with principal, desperately need a girl's trip. Back home for a shower at noon. Cats surprised to see me, called the office, did a little billing, made a few phone calls for work, turned on the barely used by me TV. News - Obama had dirt on his suit in Afghanistan, Sebelius is pissed off at insurance companies and told them where to go, Ricky Martin is gay, soap operas just as stupid as I remember from high school, Raquel Welch on Oprah, she's almost seventy and they are going to talk about that for an entire hour. I never really was officially a SAHM back in the day. I always had some kind of job or degree going on, but had some flexibility, never time to get bored. Maybe it's because I had Shana at home. Hit remote control off and called her. Whatcha doing, baby? Goin' to the libe for an International Relations study group. The libe? Yeah, the libe, Mom, the library, come on. Oh, yeah, the libe, of course, the libe.

You learn something new everyday.

Sharp Sister

I spotted my old electric pencil sharpener at my Mom's yesterday and just started cracking up. My household moved on from that ancient thing years ago, what with all of the mechanical pencils and free drug rep pens over the years and it landed in my mom's office since, you know, according to her, you just never know when you might need one of them. But that one's been around. When Shana was around 10, we went to see Aunt Amy in Asia. Flew through LA and Tokyo to Singapore, went to Cambodia and Bangkok and it wasn't until we were heading to Bali, Indonesia for a little rest (traveling with Amy is not easy) that we got stopped by security. "Open your backpack, Miss," the guy said to little Shana. My heart stopped. She opened it and out came the big electric pencil sharpener, long black cord and all.  I looked at her, "Has that been in your backpack this whole time?" she nodded. "Since we left Phoenix?" Uh huh. "This big, heavy thing has been in there for over a week, probably ten planes, at least four beds? It must weigh five pounds." She said, "Well, I thought I may need to sharpen my pencils," with a 'what part of this don't you understand?' look on her face. The guy gave it back to her for the rest of her journey and I suggested that she put it in her suitcase for the trip home. Today Amy called and told me that her friend, Cecila, emailed her yesterday to tell her that she and her Diplomat husband were getting transferred from Zimbabwe to Jakarta, Indonesia (Amy has really cool friends) and it reminded her of the electric pencil sharpener. She had a good laugh. Did I remember? Remember how we went through Singapore and Cambodia and Thailand and then they caught Shana in Indonesia? I remember. The laughing continued...

Shana in Bali, sans electric pencil sharpener

April First Friday

Friday, April 2

Anybody want to go??

Boy Brunch

Brunch with the car boys at Juan Jamie's up north. Thank God for radar detectors, that's all I can say...

juanjaimes

2010 Earth Hour

Save the planet. Turn off the lights for one hour. It's a start. I read the other day that my carbon footprint is smaller than yours since I don't eat meat, but tomorrow at 8:30pm, I'm still going to hit the light switch.

myearthhour

Love - Andre

I used to love watching Andre play. The hair, the clothes, the bandana, the earrings and, oh yeah, the backhand wasn't bad, either. He retired a few years back, gave an emotional speech (I cried) and we all went on with our lives. Then his book came out and I just couldn't help it. Yes, there are some sappy parts. Yes, he whines just a bit. But there are also some great moments, some truly exciting replays of the greatest matches, some incredible behind-the-scenes descriptions of taping up feet, training, the pain, the competition, the growing up with a horrible dad, a tyrant of a coach, the going commando during games, the finally shaving the head ceremony. There's even a bunch of People Magazine stuff including ex-girlfriend Barbra Streisand, ex-wife Brooke Sheilds, current wife Steffi Graf and what he really thinks about Pete, Jimmy, Bjorn, McEnroe and Nadal. It's not as chock full of info like my all-time favorite autobiography, Personal History by Katharine Graham, but I have a new appreciation for Andre, all of the stats, how much he really did accomplish. Good game.

Open-Autobiography-Andre-Agassi

Oh, Father

The Pope's goin' down. Sexual abuse is the most sickening crime, committed against children by people that are supposed to protect you, supposed to love you. In my former life as a social worker, I worked with hundreds of families that were affected by it. I learned fast how bizarre the culture is, how people seemed to accept it as a way of life, a somehow normal family secret, minimize the pain, it's just drunk Uncle Pat, or depressed  Daddy or holier than thou Priest that doesn't know any better while mommy turns the other cheek. Unbelievable. I've met many friends over the years that are also victims of this strange way of thinking. All Catholic. Nobody's ever punished. I went to Rome last year and looked up at the Pope's window at the Vatican. He is worshipped by so many. Too bad he's just like all of those other sweep it under the rug, deny, deny, deny kind of men. Sorry kids, you deserve better.
Warned About Abuse, Vatican Failed to Defrock Priest
nytimes.com

Upcoming Movie Madness

Monday, April 5th at Camelview - 11:15

Hump Day Happy Hour

Stopped by the swanky old, but now Botoxed and fresh, El Chorro for a little happy, happy with the girls.
elchorrolodge.com

Perfect weather, perfect mountain, perfect ladies. The place was packed with the gang from way back when, even thought we saw Sandra Day O'Connor, but we spruced up the joint with our youthful glow. New jobber gal spotted a fun looking cowboy (bad heart, no relatives and big W-2 - she's in love!), soon to be running off to Europe for a month gal and I figured out why the Republicans are so weird (but had to keep it down with this PV crowd) and the trouser socks were long gone in hope of finding the perfect little black dress.  Another life is good moment, lucky to have a circle of friends to sneak out of life with and add to the dash. 

Couldn't wait for Happy Hour. Dragged Shawn out for Semi-Retirement Half-Day Wednesday to check out the new, old El Chorro for lunch. The place looks great! Good food (the sticky buns!), amazing view. Surrounded by old timers from the Rotary Club with their walkers and Bloody Marys and also some younger folks in to see the new digs, too, soaking up the sun on a fabulous day.

Double Butt Bump

We went deep tonight at yoga. It was all about liquidity. Absorbing the elements, listening to the rhythm of nature, of your own breath, not society's crazy beat. Slow down. Swim with the fishes.  Close to the end we partnered up, sitting sole to sole, holding hands - pulling and stretching. I thought way back, kids in the pool, hands and feet connected with somebody else, hold on, deep breath, bend knees and pull for the underwater double butt bump. Remember that one? Right after Marco?...Polo? and the hold your breath contests. Fishy yoga training 101.

Golf? Send $$$$$$$

I know nothing about golf. Nothing. Mark Twain said "Golf is a good walk, ruined" and that seems just about right to me. But for a good cause, I just signed up to participate in the Workshop for Youth and Family Golf Tournament (well, I may just ride around in a cool cart, I know I'm good at that). It's Friday, April 9 and it's always a good time hanging out with Workshop people. There's Dr. Franny up there at last year's event. She is absolutely one of the brightest people that I have ever met. She has dedicated her life to this program and made an incredible positive impact on thousdands of kids and families over the years. So, get out your checkbooks. Send in some cash. Volunteer. Sign up for a tour. Send your kids in for a half-day or week long workshop this summer. It will change your life. You'll lose weight, you'll win the lottery, your face will light up, your atttude will improve and your kids will never, ever talk back to you again. I promise. Well, maybe just the last one, but isn't that enough?
workshopsaz

Donation Pledge

WWJD?

I wasn't looking for it, but I thought I found my White Elephant gift for December book club. We have a little baby Jesus theme. The gifts don't have to revolve around that (actually, I thought my microwavable bunny slippers last year went over pretty well) but today at Wal-Mart I found a tie. Let me back up. Wal-Mart. I know, I know. Such a bad place. Such a bad company with such a bad record of employee and community and the little shop in the neighborhood treatment. But once a month I go for Shawn's Atkins bars. I load up on the 50% less than anyplace else stuff and try to get out as fast as I can, sprinting past the three hundred pound toothless people sitting on the benches outside smoking and drinking 32 oz Mountain Dews. But today the tie stopped me. It was Jesus holding a cross. I looked further. It was the entire Crucifixion story told in squares up and down the tie. Yes! Score! How much could it be? If it's less than $10 bucks I'm getting it. It's Wal-Mart, it can't be too much after all. I turned over the Crucifixion explanation card and it said $24.95. Nah, too much. Not funny at $24.95, more like, the joke's on you, dummy at $24.95. Maybe next month when the Atkins bars run out again, it will be on sale. Come on, Sam. Discount. Discount. WWJD?

Inhale

It's my annual blah, blah, blah blog about the orange blossoms. Every year it's so good. Shawn and I went for a long walk tonight and every few feet it hit us, intoxicating, want to bottle it, lucky to live here, the oranges, the lemons, the massive grapefruit. Can ya smell it?

219-212

Wow, those lawyers can talk! Health Care Reform finally passed. No more pre-existing conditions. No more excessive rate hikes. No more doughnut holes. More preventative care. Sounds good to me. 

Nancy, you go, girl!

From everything I read, after the heartbreaking loss in Massachusetts, everybody was ready to give up. Scrap it. Start over later. Someday. Maybe next year. But not Nancy. She's a fighter. She marched right in to the Oval Office and said, "No way. We're doing this." Who knows what went on behind closed doors, but she did it. They all did it. Thanks.

Here's a calm explanation of how the Republicans did todayfrumforum.com/waterloo, shows how this health care reform legislation looks a lot like Mitt Romney's health care plan and the conservative Heritage Foundation's health care plan and the Republican's plan put forward after Clinton's fell through. Amazing. Could have saved us a lot time if they all just played a little nicer together in the sandbox.

The Tax Mom

I knew I got totally screwed last year. I accidentally faxed Shana's 2008 W-2s to our CPA with all of our business and personal stuff. We've been using her for years. I like her a lot, but when I got the bill - $250! - I thought, no way! For Shana? For just her measly teen-ager income? She's on the books as an official employee at our office, filing and vacuuming her way to a little allowance and IRA head start and she also had a couple of other jobs - hostess at Nothing But Noodles (until one day she showed up for work and the place was padlocked) and as a child care guru at The Village Health Club. But this year, I did a little research. Does she even need to file? Yes, now that's she's over 18 and had some withholdings. She had different jobs last year, 2009, still the same old W-2 from the family business plus toy shoppe extraordinaire at Mildred and Dildred and a file clerk at a Tucson law firm. I found Turbo Tax. Free, free, free, it said but go deeper and the small print was $14.95 for both federal and state for a filing like Shana's. Fine, beats $250. Shana and I gathered her stuff, filled out the a monkey could do this form and hit send. More fine print. Suddenly it's $27.95. Fine, fine, fine. At least we're done. Shana looked at the return and moaned. "Mom, I don't get a refund?" "Well," I said, "look at the other side, nothing due (aways my personal favorite part)!" Then I saw the little Turbo Tax smiley face guy dancing around, singing - that's good tax planning! Yep - see you next year, Turbo Man.

Upcoming - Movie AND Workshop Fundraiser

Come on out and support a great cause - fundraiser for Workshops for Youth and Families www.orho.org on Friday, March 26th at Scottsdale 101 - a fun movie with 50% of all proceeds going to Workshop!

Junior college student Calvin Marshall is determined that he's going to have a huge career in major league baseball. What everyone else realizes and Calvin does not is that Calvin is one of the worst ballplayers in history. When Calvin falls hard for an attractive volleyball star with a big future, he gets some hard lessons in love and life, but must face his own strengths and limitations before he can move into the future and determine the profession he's really suited for. 

Springtime Lipstick Call - Bloom

A little birdie told me that Bloom has a great Happy Hour and she was right - cheep, cheep, cheep! Fancy drinks and delish apps as the crowded Bloom buzzed and the crazy Divas cracked up all night - did she or didn't she? was the question after the just back from Vegas but no pics yet with Elvis at the chapel, two new jobs in the bunch, one birthday dinner, one back in action and life is good mother of the bride, one leave work when I feel like it the VA will survive, the out with the old BF in with the new tall, trainer hard-body, one freshly manicured and about to be free of cheatin' hubby and the is it inappropriate to show up to Happy Hour already happy with some baseball beer - only if an adorable yellow Porsche driver covered in Diva kisses races in for the pick-up.

Batter Up!

Spring Training's back in town. People in shorts and flip flops are everywhere. Softballer Shana and BF Jordan came along as we spread our blankets on the gorgeous winter lawn under a beautiful tree on a high of 75 little white fluffy clouds in the sky perfect day. The baseball was just so-so. After watching some real down and dirty softball with Shana playing recently, these guys are just a bit too perfect. But the main event anyway was to gather my own little team for an afternoon of fun, people watching, beer drinking, hot dog eating, music playing, bat cracking day in the shade.

 

Luck 'O The Book Club

I'm a lucky girl and it's not just because I'm part Irish, it's because of the lucky book club that lets me sit with them on their little four-leaf clovered couches every month.

It's the lucky book club that makes Irish stew and spinach soup and green lemon bars to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. It's the lucky book club full of charms like the new Mimi-to-be, the new mother-of-the-bride, the gloved snack bar mom, the down and dirty single girl, the let's rendezvous in Amsterdam right after the skit-filled four day gay love fest in a Belgium castle girls, the I just single-handedly incorporated a town girl, the I just quit my job and went to Vegas, baby, the I have a new career and look fabulous in head-to-toe C-bi, the old friend in town from Colorado,

the why isn't she officially a part of the book club yet? girl www.lespetitesgourmettes, the Happy Birthday yesterday girl,

 the off to Florida (round trip) for three glorious days after a 4:30am workout girl, the figuring out it's never too late to be happy and just put your foot down girl, the I have on lesbian shoes with black trouser socks and I still look hot girl

 and the I must get home right away and blog about how polishing an ego can lead to a happy marriage, or not, depending on the polisher. Surrounded by green, my pot of gold. See, lucky me. Lucky, lucky me.

Movie Madness - The Yellow Handkerchief

Slow, sappy and sometimes swampy. Wait for the DVD.

Health Care Reform

There's a vote on Health Care Reform coming up this week and it's close. Really close. Looks like Dennis Kucinich just switched his vote to "Yes" - nothing like a little trip on Air Force One with Obama to convince a guy. Here's an amazing graph - take a look at all the money flowing from the health care industry into our representatives pockets, then take a look at the percentage of people uninsured - then what's with all the undecideds from Arizona? I'm going to make some calls...


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/special/politics/votes/house/finalhealthcare/?hpid=topnews

Book - Committed

I thought that after twenty five years of marriage, I had it all figured out, but I picked up this new book anyway. Committed by the Eat, Pray, Love author, Elizabeth Gilbert. She spent a year traveling around the world eating, praying, finding love and writing a great best selling book. She vowed never to get married again after a brutal divorce, but then found herself "sentenced to wed" her Brazilian boyfriend by the Department of Homeland Security and wanted to write a new book about that. Committed is a combination memoir/nonfiction research project on marriage (I'm going to force Shana to read it). She digs deep into the history of marriage and culture and community as well as her own apprehensions. It's a good read. I learned a lot. She learned a lot. She's in it for the long haul. But, knowing what I know and now knowing all of her and her now husband's dirty little secrets and pet peeves and annoying traits (she can't relax, he's rude to waiters, etc.), I kept thinking - it'll never last.

I'm A Little Tea Pot

Who are these people? I wish instead of having little tea parties with Rush and Fox and Palin and Beck, they could come and spend a day with me at the office. They may learn something.

Perfect Day, sort of

Work

Movie Madness

Pita Jungle

Work

Happy Hour

Life is good

Got Lunch?

The Herberger Theater has some great lunchtime performances. What's better than a little afternoon quickie?

Shows are $6, lunch is BYO or for another $6 you get a nice catered box lunch.
Next up is "It's Always Sunny in Phoenix"

Thursday, March 18th
Doors open at 11:40, play starts at noon and lasts 45 minutes - back to work or in the school pick-up line before anybody knows you've been gone!
herbergertheater.or

Phoenix Lights

I'm not what one would call a true believer. The whole U.F.O. thing seems pretty woo woo to me, but after 

seeing the latest edition of The Phoenix Lights film and listening to some extremely bright people, I gave it a second chance. Maybe we're not alone. 

www.thephoenixlights.net

Avenue Q

Avenue Q - Clever idea, but not what I thought it would be. People and puppets living together on Avenue Q, sort of a cross between Rent and Sesame Street. There were a few hilarious moments, but when one of the puppets starting singing, "There's a fine line between love and a waste of time..." I thought, hmmm...like maybe right now?

But, never one to look on the glass is half empty side, it was fun to get out, always fun to be inside Gammage, fun to walk around ASU before the show, reminiscing - here's my college, here's Shawn's classroom, there's the geeky Math club having a pizza party on the first afternoon of Spring Break (and it was full) and oh so fun to have lunch at old favorite House of Tricks on one of those it just doesn't get any better than this Spring in Arizona afternoons, sitting on the patio with some wine, music and incredible food and even a very lucky beautiful black cat.

houseoftricks

Spring Break

And she's off! Shana surprised us and came home for a couple of nights before heading off to California for a little Spring Break vacay with some friends. We had a Saturday morning send-off at the Morton's complete with breakfast and a trunk load of baked goodies for the kids. I want to marry Sue. I got a text - we're in Yuma, then later - we're heeeeere. Since then, nothing. Have fun guys!

C-bi Catwalk

When you look up Runway Model in the dictionary, the last picture you would expect to see would be me. But today, there I was, strutting my stuff in friend Ronnie's C-bi Fashion Show. Surrounded by my book club peeps, a couple of neighbors, a Petite Ya Ya and even a glamorous grandma, Grande Ma Ma (doing the Jitterbug and lookin' hot), we strolled through the fancy Westin Keirland to sell our wares to the lovely conference spouses as they dined on their seared Ahi. Two-by-two, just like on Noah's Ark, we cruised out to Ronnie's microphoned voice, stood, spun, did the shoulder peek-a-boo and then walked amoungst the audience, giving them the up close and personal, touchy-feely, treatment. I represented the non-anorexic size 12's of the world, all strapped down, sucked in and Spankxed up. I put some extra effort into the getting ready process - blow-dried, gelled, and back-combed my hair into a swingy, fluffy, bumped-up, shiny do. I curled my eyelashes, found some long-lost lip liner and actually looked in the mirror when I put on some blush instead of my usual just slap it on if I have an extra second routine. Along with my four sets of matching shoes and jewelry for every one of my four modeling outfits, my fellow models and I transformed the men's bathroom into a C-bi Central, clothes flying, necklaces draping, hangers swinging, scarves flowing, sorority house melee. The urinal went unused, but every other inch was covered in girlie-girl fabulousness. We finished the show, bowed to the deafening applause, packed up and made our exit. As we stood in the elevator for our trip back to reality, I wondered how much longer it would be until we got called back for our next show, our next shoot. Maybe the next Vogue cover?

Tia and Marco!

Tia and Marco, Annie Howell's film, was released on the internet today. Check it out below.
futurestates.tv/episodes/tia-and-marco
(and check out the credits to see yours truly!)

The project that funded it was covered in The Times today.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/08/business/media/08itvs.html?scp=1&sq=futurestates&st=Search

The year is 2025. Tia Moran, six months pregnant, has just finished the last day of her mandatory year of service as a patrol officer on the U.S.- Mexico border. It’s her last night in Arizona, and she is packing for her move. Her government apartment is equipped with high-tech surveillance. In the kitchen as she waits for the bath to fill down the hall, she hears a crash, and her security system issues an “intruder alert.”

Investigating, she throws open the bathroom door and points her service revolver.  Inside she discovers a 14-year-old “illegal” named Marco pleading for help. She handcuffs him and calls her fellow agents to come pick him up.

Tia is clearly relieved that her year of duty is over, but it has clearly come at a price. She has become less compassionate, and is skeptical of rumors that illegal border crossers who are caught are secretly tortured.

While Tia waits for Marco to be escorted away, she tries to resume her routine, but the two can’t help but communicate. Giving in to Marco’s pleas, Tia deigns to give him a bit of food and water.

But soon, when Tia falls asleep, Marco escapes. As soon as she awakes, she races to look for him. Realizing that Marco has been captured by an especially brutal border agent, Tia must make a decision that might compromise her values and her future.

At once a cautionary tale and a story of hope, Tia and Marco investigates the complexities of immigration through one personal interaction.

International Women's Day

You go, girls!
Here's the Prez saying some nice things about us during a little celebration.
www.whitehouse.gov

Movie Madness

In honor of the Oscars:
The Oscar Nominated Short Films 2010: Live Action