i Not Worthy

For over twenty years, I've been at the back of the mac line. Shawn, numero uno tech freak, always got the latest and greatest, newest and coolest, brightest and shiniest mac thingy to come along, while I got the used goods. The slow stuff. The cranky software. The banged up hardware. I've been babying my hand-me-down, dropped a millions times, including in water once or twice, old phone for months, developing iphoneitis from pushing so hard, hoping to make it last a little bit longer. It's not all macDaddy's fault, either. I've always been, no, no, no. I don't need it. It's not worth the money. Just wait. Until today. Saturday surprise. A new iphone is out. White. Ohh. Shawn discovered some contract fine print. Some way below retail special price.  So responsive! So cute! So fast! On sale! Just think of all of the thumb physical therapy treatment money I'll save.

I ripped open the box and immediately dropped the phone. So not worthy.

(Sunday afternoon update - sold crappy old phone for $110 to some guy on Craigslist - worthy, worthy, worthy)

Rock The Zoo

Saved the animals. Relived the 80s. Strolled through the jungle. Rocked the Zoo with The Motels, Animotion, Tommy Tutone, The Promise and Dramarama as another balding prince from my youth on this happy royal wedding day sang Anything, Anything to me under the stars on a perfect night, making me cry one more time - MARRY ME, MARRY ME, MARRY ME!

I Do!

The Pomp! The Circumstance! The pithy Chaucer poem! 

I got all teary-eyed watching Will and Kate all by myself Friday morning, but then grabbed The Amazing Duchesses of Scottsdale to hit The British Open Pub for some bangers and mash, some fish and chips, some beer, of course, and round two of the nuptials - dishing the whole time about every little thing, the hats, the trivia, the richer or poorer (not!), the David Beckham, the dress, the crowds, my brand new very own personal harpist and the Queen Wave.

Cheerio!

British Open Pub

Here I am with my own military Prince (those are hand-made royal streamers on the carriage).

Book Club - A Walk in the Woods

Life is like the Appalachian Trail and book club is that thank God there's a hotel one Wednesday night a month along the path where you can go and wash off all the grime, sit in a soft, safe place and know no bears can get you for the next few hours. Oh, and there's food, too. How glad am I that I have friends that can cook? Homemade bread, a vegetarian feast - Gorgonzola arugula pasta, pine nut pesto pasta salad, veggie tray - we're talkin' huge artichokes, baby bella marinated mushrooms, adorable radish flowers, lots more, homemade dips, and a juicy, juicy dessert spread. Yay Cathy! We played musical chairs by candlelight, missing the pool, skipping the book, of course, but covering politics, birth certificates, toupees, Tennessean Muslims, the asshole brother and brother-in-law, the new tats, the Easter Hop, the please don't move to Denver, the boundaries, the better than Prozac shuffle, the up way too late on a perfect Arizona patio night. Now I'm all clean and full and ready to get back on the trail.

Also got through this month: The Tiger's Wife

 and Blood, Bones & Butter

Both great reads...

Earth Day (tardy)

Better late than never. 

Some positive steps I'm taking.

My compost is beginning to resemble actual dirt.

I'm going to start recycling at the office 

- collecting the never ending supply of plastic and Styrofoam bottles, cups and containers and hauling them home for my weekly pick-up.

I am reading a great book, Plastiki, about a guy that built a catamaran out of plastic bottles and sailed from San Francisco to Sydney, trying to increase our awareness. Pretty inspiring.

Went to a home "party" for Melaleuca products. Lots of amazing things, clean, green and good for the environment and our health (but then I discovered that they take a ton of their profit and contribute it all to Republicans, who generally poo poo global warming and clean food, air and water regulation). So, I started to look for products on my own made by a company that puts it's money where it's mouth is. Unfortunately, that list is short.

Signed up for emails from treehugger.com to learn something new I can do everyday.

I spent $82 filling up on gas the other day - good reminder to slow down and drive less.

I BYOBs

to the grocery store, to Costco, to Target (nobody gives you weird looks anymore)

If you live in Scottsdale and have a garage full of dead cellphones, squeaky printers, old TVs, lost remotes and other electronic stuff gathering dust, drop it off on May 7th here. Just drive up and some cute guy will empty out your trunk. It's a beautiful thing.

I cleaned out my mailbox by going here DMA Choice to get rid of some catalogs.

Small steps with my big, big feet.



Two Dorks At A Five Guys

Recent Facebook chatter with old peeps about what dorks we all were back in high school moved into lunch with Shawn conversation at the total high school kind of place, Five Guys.

Shawn agreed. He was a dork in high school, too. At least until he could drive.

Then he got a girl.

But he still can't draw anything without sticking out his tongue.

Some things never change.

Dork :) 

The Final Countdown

Spring Break's over and now all Shana has left are some finals, a flamenco show in Madrid, her premiere as a surly male cop in her Theatre class play, one more quiet weekend in Alcala and then home. I said, How about Lisbon? You're so close. Go, go, go!

Nope, she said, I'm done.

Movie Madness - The Greatest Movie Ever Sold

Surrounded by a bunch of guys instead of our usual grey-haired Camelview ladies, we got a hilarious look behind the scenes at how Madison Avenue has taken over the world.

As a dedicated movie watcher, it's good to be informed. Now go buy some POM Wonderful 100% pomegranate juice and go see - The Greatest Movie Ever Sold.

Bring on the Bitch

 

Wow - these ladies can bitch!

Stunning, hilarious, heartbreaking short plays by some unbelievably talented local women. Incredible.

SOS - Save Our space55. 

London Calling

The Three Musketeers made it to London

 and thanks to Amy's cool friends Richard and Iona

they've got a great front row seat to an English three day weekend. 

Slow Boat To London

Shana et al missed the ferry to London. Stuck at the Amsterdam harbor. Free internet, TV and even a phone call home to mama (money's dwindling, send more, why yes, of course, Princess). Waiting for the night boat, a day late and 50 extra bucks for a cabin on the next one. An adventure. A learning experience. Wasn't that the idea?

Cheerio chapettes. Kisses to Will and Kate.

Red Carpet!

I've never said this - the movie was almost as good as the book!!

Fellow fun dashers and I hit Fashion Square for a Living Social Water for Elephants Opening Night extravaganza, starting with an amazing Happy Hour with Chambord blackberry margaritas, Catfish Beignets, shrimp and more, more, more at ZTejas followed by the screening (all for $10!!! Oh, how I love a deal!) where we snuggled in, jumped on a train and ran off with the circus.

Dutch Girl

Just trying to keep up...

Shana's in Amsterdam for the next couple of days, staying at the famous Flying Pig, taking in the tulips, a canal cruise, the Anne Frank House and Van Gogh. Right? 

Yes. I'm sure that's what she is doing.

Stand By Your Man

My Dad had to practically walk through a picket line to meet me for lunch. Something his own father told him never to do. Stand up for what's right. Join together with your fellow man and seek justice in the world. But these days, even on this Tax Day, the government is coming apart at the seams. People are picketing. Protesting all over the place. Landlord's are getting rich while drywallers pound the pavement. The ever-growing Phoenix concrete jungle and one man and me. 

Still standing.

Busy Brewer

No circumcision receipts necessary. 

No guns at school. 

Turns out Jan can be downright reasonable.

Thought for the day

Bruges - a fairy tale

Last year at this time, wandering around with Louise, I discovered Bruges, Belgium. A couple of years ago there was this guy

in the movie In Bruges that gave me a little taste of what a stunning place it is. A fairy tale. A walk around with your mouth hanging open it's so beautiful kind of place. Shana's there today and I bet she's climbing the Bell Tower right now.

Movie Madness - NIGHTS!!

I forgot what a great movie Chocolat is. Maybe because last time I saw it I wasn't sitting in the courtyard at the Montelucia on a gorgeous night under a full moon with friends (one even dressed in a glittery chocolatey shirt), my own cute sans the pony-tail pirate and some little chocolate cakes.

Seems to make for a better ending.

Next up...a little Shakespeare

Much Ado About Nothing on May 29th.

Brats, Beer, Boys and a Birthday

Sunday afternoon birthday bash for Mike. Neverending cranberry-grapefruit martinis, delectable food spread, big birthday cake, growing too fast kids, new adopted dogs, cracking up with the girls on the patio, finally catching up with the other halves, cramp the style, cheers.

Ou est Shana?

Paris! Now she wants to move there. Who could blame her? One of her new friends at school in Alcala, Gwenyth (who also goes to U of A, but they never really knew each other), somehow talked a French exchange student that had stayed with her family years ago to let her and Shana and Shannon stay in her Paris flat. She's been cooking for them and giving them tours and I even got a phone call this morning from her place. Picnic lunch at the Eiffel Tower and a last night in Paris take the hostess out for crepes dinner.

Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me

I dropped out of Weight Watchers. Uh oh. Back in January I decided I can do this on my own. This isn't rocket science, right? I'd maintained at twenty pounds gone for awhile. Still far away from a fifteen more to go goal weight, but willing to tackle that at a later date. Put it off. Live it up for now. Then I gained four pounds. Then four more. Then I lost four. So the scale sits at four up from January. Digging out the WW book again...

UUUGGGGHHH!

Insecure

It started with Home Depot. I got an email last week. You are a valued customer. You can trust us, but, we regret to inform you that some yahoo hacked into our system and stole lots of information. Probably just your email, maybe more. But remember, you are a valued customer. I remember the day I got that credit card, standing staring at a hot water heater while the guy in the orange apron (such a bad color on everybody, really) told me that if I signed up today I would get 30% off, zero interest for a year, free delivery and installation and a big party with cake and balloons and a marching band. My driver's license and every other card in my wallet wasn't enough for them to identify me, I needed to play 20 questions with some lady on the phone. She said, "Out of all of these streets, which one have you lived on?" Main, Portland, Belleview, 45th? Belleview! How about the following phone numbers? Which one have you used? Out of these restaurants, where have you worked? Denny's, Applebees, Chili's or TGI Fridays? She went on and on. She knew every place I have lived, where I have banked, all of my account numbers for the past 30 years. It was so creepy. Later last week I got another email. This one was from Victoria's Secret. You are a valued customer. You can trust us, but, we regret to inform you that some yahoo hacked into our system and stole lots of information. Probably just your email, maybe more. But remember, you are a valued customer. I got this card, as I recall, because Shana had just moved to Tucson and, you know, Mom, it would be so much easier for you, really, you know, if I had a card. Somehow undergarments didn't fit in the "use your own allowance" category. So now we've both got enough bras to last awhile, I get at least one big catalog a week and now my secret isn't safe anymore (36 long). Last bad news of the week (so far) was from Healthnet. Same thing, but worse. They hacked in and got it all and we are giving you a two year free subscription to some kind of personal information protection service. We're sorry. You are a valued customer.

If I'm so valuable, why doesn't anybody buy a better lock?

Into The Woods

Once upon a time there was a clumsy Cinderella. Everywhere she went she tripped, spinning around and around, arms flailing, making a big kerplunk as she fell, gold shoes popping off, ball gown dress flying up, showing everyone her billowy white bloomers underneath. Seventh grade Shana. She sang, she danced, she acted, she got all bruised up. Cracks me up still when I think about her Into The Woods performance at the amazing Tesseract (I just "contributed" part of my taxes to them today, hoping that they will spend it better than our scary, Big Bad Wolf, governor). Yesterday Cinderella Shana left Madrid for Paris, hopefully not falling down on her four days there, then Brussels, Bruges, Amsterdam and wrapping up her Into The Spring Break performance in London. I wish I was in the West End audience to watch that one, too. So it's not just the awesomeness of friend, Maggie, who built the set for the current production of Into The Woods that's making me drive all the way to Gilbert this weekend. It's that I miss Shana.

Don Quixote

Man of the Mancha at the Mesa Arts Center. Shana's studying in a little town called Alcala de Heneres, where Miguel Cervantes was born. He wrote Don Quixote and she has recently been on a windmill tour, Don Quixote's route. I got reacquainted tonight at a wonderful production. The acting, singing, costumes, set and story was perfect. And the moral?

To live the impossible dream!
(even if everybody thinks you're crazy)

The Window Pain

I'm not big into window coverings. Right after we moved in, I ripped out almost all of the custom-made wooden shutters. They must have cost somebody a fortune, but they made me feel claustrophobic. Plus they just screamed eighties. I've had a couple of decorators pop in over the years to give me all of their fancy ideas, but was never able to do anything about this one window. The kitchen's too dark already, I like looking at my tree too much and it feels so urban to keep it bare, so New Yorkish. I figured if people driving by at night felt like they had to peep in, go for it. My neighbors across the street, an elderly couple, always went to bed pretty early and for ten years, I never saw a light on in their front room. Never. But now they're gone. First him, then her and now there's a new neighbor. One of Shawn's patients, actually, and the lights are on, reminding me that we're not alone. That guy will need to get used to seeing me walk Sully around the block, all pony tail, white legs and no make-up, but it's the inside view I'm worried about. Me all squinty-eyed, wandering around in the middle of the night, Cali the cat drinking water out of the faucet (gross, gross, so unsanitary, I know), a mail-strewn messy countertop, Shawn all crazy-haired in the morning, making coffee in his flannel smiley face jammie pants. So maybe it's time to throw up a shade.

Nobody needs to see any of that. 

Movie Madness - Arthur

Ooohh...a billionaire alcoholic!! But at least it was cheeky fun drunk, Russell Brand, in this better than being at work romp.

Have A Nice Day

I thought we were goners last week. 100 degrees in April. I gave up. I shoved all of my jeans to the back of the closet until, I figured, October and went to Marshall's to get a couple of summer dresses. But things turned around. There were several patio dinners, lots of sleeping with the windows opened nights, going to work and leaving Sully outside without feeling guilty. Today we're heading up to 59. 59 and rainy.

Boots. Now I need to find my boots.

The Eleventh Hour

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a budget. After a riveting, simply riveting, day of drama, all those guys in DC appeared to make a deal. Everyone was all nicey, nicey. Nobody got a black eye. Go to the Grand Canyon and take a donkey ride. Go get a Pap smear (for now). Call up one of your millionaire friends and go celebrate. Maybe they'll even pick up the tab.

Couldn't Tame The Beast

I Got Carded At Costco!

I was texting away in the check-out line, so the guy didn't get a good look at my face, but still.
He said, "Can I see your ID?"
Yes, it's right there.
No, not your Costco card, your ID. For the wine.
I smiled. Really? Are you serious?
Yep. We ID for everybody under 30.
(OMG!) Wow. OK. I got out my wallet and we both struggled to get my license out. It's hard. It always gets stuck. I was giggling. Giggling. I wanted to hug the guy.
I said, I'm way past 30.
He took a look at the card. "No you're not."

10,000 Maniacs

When Shawn saw a couple of bees inside the house, he ventured outside to find a massive hive buzzing away. Big, black three foot by one foot oval vibrating orb. We called the experts and this guy's twin showed up at my door.

 Mr. Wikipedia of bees. He said the hive had been there for about four hours. The bees set up shop, got in the house through the light fixture and they were already building their honeycomb. Those suckers work fast. I asked him how many he thought there were and he said 10,000. He went on and on and on, totally engrossed in his passion, willing to stand there all day and educate me. Bees are wonderful creatures, you know. Suddenly I'm in the middle of a Christopher Guest mocumentary.

I kept waiting for him to break out of character and start laughing. There's a movie in here somewhere. He was just so excited in his little bee outfit and red bandana, protecting the neighborhood, rounding up the beasts, sprinkling lavender powder everywhere. 

I sort of felt bad that he had to kill them all.

Prague

Shana headed to Prague for a little rendezvous with Shila The Great.

(here they are last summer)

Shila blew through U of A in 2 1/2 years and is in grad school in the city. I didn't want Shana to miss the opportunity to see the place with an actual local, so since she's doing Spring Break on the cheap and skipping summer in Europe, we splurged for the weekend. The only problem was that she had to go alone. Too pricey, too far, not enough true love of Shila for any of her Spain peeps, or room in the dorm, either, for anybody else to make the trip. So Mom got to worry as she made it solo through Madrid, Frankfurt, Prague, waiting for the "I'm here" email now that texting's out since Shana's stolen cell phone is probably on Craigslist Barcelona by now. She made it. I can't wait to hear all about it.