Lisa's Pieces

2012-02-15T10:13:00.000-07:00

You've Got Male*

2012-02-14T15:51:00.000-07:00

*at least I hope you do

Happy Valentine's Day!

Carla's BIG, BAD BIRTHDAY BASH

2012-02-13T18:38:00.000-07:00

It's been a good year! Join the Carla birthday fun at Tanzy Thursday at 5. She'll be the one in the sequins...

The King And I

2012-02-12T17:08:00.000-07:00

Headed East to see The King!! Not all the way to NYC when I saw Yul Brynner in this role with Old Wildcat and little Kittycat, Amy, but this was good, too. The singing. The acting. The sets - as I sat next to the amazing Maggie who painted everything, filling me in on the backstage gossip and technicalities of it all. Beautiful!

TPC*

2012-02-04T15:29:00.000-07:00

The 9am bottle of vodka should have been my first clue that the day would not have a happy ending.

The plan was for the gang from Tucson to descend on The Phoenix Open for a day of fun in the sun,

commencing with an early morning "pre-drinking" drinking fest at some guy's Kierland house. By the time I fetched Shana and Zach around 2, following several loud, drunken, disoriented, choppy phone calls and texts on a not working very well in the golf-clogged cell site system "I'm on Princess, I'm at The Princess, I'm on Hayden, no, the Greenway-Hayden, no Bell, no Frank Lloyd Wright Loop somewhere" there was a red, tear-stained face and no gang from Tucson anywhere to be found.

Nobody drove (I'm sure of it). Nobody threw up (I don't think). Nobody got arrested (I don't think). And there was only one ear piercing (that I'm aware of).

I never did understand golf.

*Totally Plastered Children

Garrison Keillor

2012-02-02T23:37:00.000-07:00

I half expected Guy Noir to walk in at any moment as Laurel and I sidled up to the bar at The Stockyards for a saloon stop

before heading to see the other Guy, the Big Guy, Garrison Keillor. I thought I'd need my BFF from Minneapolis to help translate, but as soon as he came on, it was like he was speaking right to me. Right to everybody, really. The man's a genius. Witty. Pithy. Pretty cheeky. He takes experiences we all have had and turns them into stories and songs we all know the words to. We laughed. We cried. We sang. Maybe it's weird for a girl like me to like this guy. It's such an old-fashioned thing to do, sitting around on a weekend, listening to Keillor on the radio. Sometimes I imagine I'm back in those times before TV, sitting with my family, surrounding the radio, watching it, wondering what the characters look like. The private eye, the sultry bartender, the librarian, the cowboy, the mom on the other end of the phone. But I'm not very old-fashioned. I can't cook or sew. I'm a bad hostess. Pearls look funny on me. So even though I've been married forever and I love the whole mom thing, that's probably where my old-fashionedness stops. But tonight as I gazed around the old Celebrity Theater in the round, smelling like Depends and baby powder, looking like Skate World from seventh grade with the worn out Vegas carpet, I realized, we've all seen better days. I'm glad I was there to hear all about them.

In order to keep the Minnesota/Arizona good times going, Laurel and I laughed our way over to see another long-time Keillor fan, Anne, at her Knockers Up place, where I started to imagine again, seeing Garrison and the definitely not old-fashioned Rusty Warren hanging around the kitchen table, going at it for a round or two.

Upcoming Book Club - Room

2012-02-02T15:48:00.000-07:00

Up next at my place!

"Assignment"- Room

Extra credit...

Movie Madness - We Need To Talk About Kevin

2012-01-30T18:53:00.000-07:00

Whoa...I loved it. Creepy, heart-racing, roller-coaster in and out of time periods and in and out of Kevin's brain. We never figured out just what it is that makes some of us totally nuts, maybe since it was early and the caffeine hadn't kicked in yet, but we hung on for an incredible ending. Acting, direction, cast, plot - perfect.

Lunch Bunch

2012-01-29T15:25:00.000-07:00

The Mr. and Mrs. Old Wildcat Green House, the brussels sprouts, the brain freeze, the doctor sloughing (not concierge), the Spain trip, the seventh grade Skateland memories and the dancing fountains and a bench on a top down kind of day.

AcroCats!

2012-01-28T18:25:00.000-07:00

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty. The amazing AcroCats at space55 were hilarious. They jumped, they did tricks, they were snotty, they played in a band - The Rock Cats (need more cowbell) as the crowd went wild. We got home and attempted some of the tricks on our own brood.

Nothing.

Upcoming - It's C_bi time again

2012-01-28T18:20:00.000-07:00

Save The Date - Wine, Women, Wardrobe Wednesday
February 29th at 6:00
Check it out!

Upcoming - World Happy Day

2012-01-28T18:08:00.000-07:00

A movie about being happy. What have you got to lose?

February 11th at Desert Ridge

Yoga

2012-01-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

Mary's back!

JOY OF YOGA

THURSDAYS 10AM

Scottsdale Neighborhood Arts Place

4425 N Granite Reef Road

Looking Up

2012-01-26T21:18:00.000-07:00

Even if you weren't raised in Chicago with seven sisters by Holocaust survivors, doesn't mean you won't find yourself and your family in this book. Incredible stories, hilarious characters, heartbreaking moments.

Linda had the audience in hysterics as she read some parts of her book and regaled us all with stories of the favorite sisters, the Holocaust vacations and, hopefully, ideas for the next book.

Mesquite Library

Job Creator

2012-01-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

Hi. I'm a Job Creator. There I am above creating jobs (obviously I need to pitch in more to the Pedicurist down the street, but I've been busy with end-of-the-year stuff). Our little company has four employees. Besides the four of us, I give a lot of money to Cox and immunization manufacturers and the City of Scottsdale and Staples and restaurants around town when we get hungry. Our patients come in and then go out into the neighborhood and spend money at pharmacies and x-ray facilities and Staples and restaurants around town when they get hungry, helping fellow Job Creators. Funny how that works. Seem to remember learnin' something about that in business school. And, oh, I pay my taxes. I have a CPA that puts up with my old pedicures and messy desk, but instead of going all Cayman Island on me, she makes me send in my fair share. Not a wimpy 13.9% like this guy.

Jeez. Look who's talking about handouts and lowering taxes for the wealthy so we'll get more Job Creators. Please. He rakes in over $50,000 a day (YES, A DAY!!) and the only jobs he has created for the past couple of years are for four cleaning ladies to dust and vacuum his various homes, paying them each about $5,000.

At that rate, hopefully he threw in a few pedicures.

Book Club - The Thousand Autumns of Jacob De Zoet

2012-01-25T23:27:00.000-07:00

Off to a good 2012 start at Maddie's. She shoots! She scores!

A houseful of Divas plus a skin care Diva wannabe giving us facials and hand scrubs while a not-so-Diva wannabe videographer documented Leslie's every move as she makes her way to Jobland, snagging a piece of Stardom along the way as she Remakes America

Leslie - aka "The Talent"

We tried to keep it clean, hardly any f-bombs escaped as we cackled on cue about Catherine The Great to Tina Fey as the Everything But Pea Pea soup and homemade bread filled us up.

I couldn't get through the book. Sorry, Mr. David Mitchell. But I've moved on, and in preparation for his visit here next month, I'm brushing up on one of funny man Garrison Keillor's old books, Love Me.

And I do.

I Heart U

2012-01-25T08:11:00.000-07:00

Looking to fire your writing rocket???

Loveeee Writing Workshop (and CANDY!!!!) at the amazing Smeeks

February 9th

State of the Union

2012-01-24T19:03:00.000-07:00

Listen up tonight, Washington. And while you're here in Arizona tomorrow, Mr. President, maybe we can chat for a bit.

Water, Water Everywhere But Not A Drop To Drink

2012-01-23T16:07:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how much we take for granted. After 24 hours without water in the house, I have a new pipe, clean hair and a renewed realization of just how easy our lives are. I picked up some bottled water and got it home without having to carry it on my head, but wondered if I should drink any since flushing wasn't an option. What about the dirty dishes? Dirty cothes? Mr. Manscaped Metrosexual, who can't get through a day without two showers (reminds me of the Schweddy Balls skit), almost went nuts (no pun intended). My one cat that will only drink running water from a faucet poo poo-ed every effort I made to stick a bowl under her nose. But she survived. We all did.

Crossing my fingers on the new pipe.

Cain and Abel

2012-01-21T17:51:00.000-07:00

Like Cain and Abel, Shawn and his brother. We've been out of the loop for years, but showed up to help celebrate Scott's Big 50th.

Truce?

TGIF

2012-01-20T22:03:00.000-07:00

Cool artist Julianne Swartz presented her incredible installation tonight down at the ASU Art Museum. What's a miracle? Running into lots of pals always seems like a miracle to me, but get on down there to find some of your own...

And, part two, another cool chick doing a little storytelling...Tania Katan at Scottsdale Center for the Arts told us all about her first job at Snow Oasis. Oh, how I remember that place. Fun night with a great line-up including Bill Goodykoontz and the nice lady next to me that loaned me her leopard-print Snuggie to cuddle up in - there's got to be a story in there.

Red Balloons

2012-01-19T21:17:00.000-07:00

The not-so-old high school gang is still plugging along. Here we are celebrating Susie's birthday at dive bar DJ's. Mr. Swenson crashed the bash with his just-met-in-the-parking-lot-very-first-Match.com-date, Deb. Seems like we haven't taught him anything over the years, but she fit right in anyway.

R & J

2012-01-18T22:02:00.000-07:00

Gotta love a little romance. Had a wild time at Wild Thaiger then what a fun, fun, fun evening with the boys down at Phoenix Little Theater, playing the girl parts, too, like back in the 'ol Bard's time. INCREDIBLE acting. The best I've ever seen here.

Politically Incorrect...

2012-01-16T18:55:00.001-07:00

One shouldn't get all their news from Comedy Central, but it's a good place to start. "News" flash - Stephen Colbert is running for the President of the United States of South Carolina. Here's a nice explanation of what a SuperPAC is as the second anniversary of Citizens United nears. In this day and age of protests and the 99% vs. the 1%, it's not so funny anymore.

Lesson Part 1
Lesson Part 2
Lesson Part 3
Lesson Part 4
Lesson Part 5

Sunday A'Fair

2012-01-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

Fun Sunda y kick-off to 2012 with the always amazing Walt Richardson and his Bob Marley to Beatles songs. Stopped off beforehand with my very own car freak in this full of car freaks right now town to check out some soon-to-be-auctioned cars, surrounded by bunches of guys with attitudes like this

before hitting the grass for a little Brown Eyed Girl to calm everybody down.

Every Sunday for a few months. 12 - 4. SMOCA's free, too.

Cougar

2012-01-14T16:38:00.000-07:00

Someone should have warned me - Don't marry a younger guy.

Hard, I know, at nineteen to actually find one, but I did. The other day we were driving to work. Well, I was driving to work, young thang next to me was complaining about my driving. It's the first thing to go, I guess. The reflexes. The vision. The concern about other people on the road. My morning friend Beth on the radio started talking about couples. Is he hotter than you? What does one do when your spouse ages better than you? Stick to dark bars? Don't go out? I looked over at Mr. Sunshine in the passenger seat. When he gets a grey hair, it's distinguished. A wrinkle, wise. So unfair.

Pretty soon, he'll probably make me drop him off in back where nobody can see.

A little song while we can still hear...

Maggie May

O' Christmas Tree

2012-01-14T16:23:00.000-07:00

Poor Santa. We wore him out this year. Not to mention the tree. We had a Zach Christmas on the 19th. A couple of other ones around the actual little baby Jesus fake winter birthday date and then, after waiting for the in-laws to recover from a thirty-day Dubai - Cape Town cruise and for Shana to get back to town to grace us with her presence (and presents), we had the last round on January 6th. It was close to 80 degrees out by then. The tree had started to droop. The starlight on top needed to be propped up. The thing started to smell. Sort of smokey. Char-y around the bulbs. Around New Year's Day, I stopped using the lights unless I was sitting right there, fire extinguisher handy, and, just to be safe, unplugged them from the wall when I wasn't until the last present was unwrapped. Today I walked past the plain, naked tree lying by the back gate waiting for next week's pick-up and smelled something.

Pine.

The Food Trucks are coming, the Food Trucks are coming

2012-01-14T15:42:00.000-07:00

Is Gourmet Food Truck an oxymoron???

I may never find out. I'm trying to stick with the whole vegan, nothing-with-a-face-or-a-mother thing, and after reading that the cool new Phoenix vegan food truck beet strEAT closed up shop and wasn't going to be at the food fest, I figured I should probably find a different eat street.

Mother-Daughter Art

2012-01-12T22:44:00.000-07:00

Yowza!! A little mother-daughter discussion between two artists, moderated by the pretty talented herself, Deborah Susser. Both women, Mom, Beth Ames Swartz and daughter, Julianne Swartz, are incredibly creative. I can't wait to spend more time looking at and learning more about their work. At the end of the evening, the two were asked if they learned anything tonight about each other. Beth is in awe of Julianne's work and told her that she is sorry she won't be around for thirty more years to see how it all turns out. Julianne was inspired by the presentation of the decades-long accumulation of beautiful art and the meaning behind it. She looked at her mom and said, after having been upset about it as a young girl, "I'm glad you didn't make cookies."

You can't buy that.

2012-01-11T11:29:00.000-07:00

Knockers Up!

2012-01-10T23:39:00.000-07:00

If Rusty Warren could see us now...

she'd fit right in.

The Knockers Up gang gathered at the little 'ol PV ranch house, built by Rusty in the early seventies and totally transformed into a right-out-of-a-magazine stunner by the amazing Anne. Every corner in the 5,000 plus place was full of yet another creative surprise. She gave us the tour, told us the secrets (like about all the parties there where Liberace played the piano) and we watched out for the spirits as the Knockers Up CD played in the background. In preparation for our bash, Leanne swooped over to Rusty's current digs in Hawaii last month and got some first-hand gossip, a glimpse at a wall of Who's Who head shots from back in Las Vegas and a great time watching a fun broad relive her glory days.

Speaking of fun broads, I'm pretty sure the 2012 version of the Knockers Up club will keep the stories coming, too.

Mother-Daughter

2012-01-10T15:28:00.001-07:00

Yeah, a guy got invited out for our last hurrah lunch, but Shana and I have had one fun mother-daughter fest, just like the old days. The house has been full of kids and the moms have been coming out, too. There was the Carla-Megan brunch, the Leslie-Chelsea and Maddie-Nina (and Sam!) rally/movie, the Sue-Heather (and Shila!) happy hour, and capping off a shortened, off with Zach, holiday season, a little True Foods with the padres before she got in her car and headed off for the last one, the last semester, the last round of classes, the last Dean's List certificate for the pile as Shawn and I watched her go. How is this possible?

And then there were two...

WOW - War on Women

2012-01-09T19:37:00.001-07:00

I got called a baby killer today.

Weird, because there I was, quietly walking along the sidewalk with my baby, alive and well.

It must have been my pink shirt. OMG lady! How judgmental was she? And if it wasn't for the orangey-suntan shade of her panty hose in her sensible shoes, I would have said something. But you just can't talk to people like that. I wanted to tell her just because I'm Pro-Choice doesn't mean I'm Pro-Abortion. Nobody's Pro-Abortion. We Choosy peeps need a new slogan anyway. How can you win going up against Pro-Life? We should be the REALLY, REALLY Pro-Lifers! We want babies. We love babies.

I was one of the lucky babies. I had a cool mom. A smart dad. Zero creepy uncles or asshole boyfriends. A high school sex-ed teacher. A good head on my shoulders. Health insurance. Most kids aren't so lucky and that's why I went to the walk today. Showed a bit of support. Stood there with my awesome Pink Ladies.

So take off your pantyhose and go spend some time with a teen-ager or two if you really do care. It's not just about bumper stickers and voting. Help her. Talk with him. Give them just a tiny bit of education so we don't have to keep meeting like this.

Plus, I bet pink's your color.

Rally

Movie Madness

2012-01-09T16:42:00.000-07:00

A row-full of Moms and Mini-Mes watched as an incredible cast fought and fought and fought. A little dig here. Snide remark there. Vomit all over priceless books. Loved it.

Carnage

2012-01-08T19:39:00.000-07:00

Love, Loss and What I Wore

2012-01-08T18:16:00.000-07:00

Hilarious journey.

Ticket 2 Ride

2012-01-08T09:44:00.002-07:00

(the ending changed the other day)

All I could see was the gun. I folded my hands in my lap, faced forward and hoped Shawn wouldn’t say anything stupid as the voice from above asked, “Do you know how fast you were going?” After treating our early morning commute in the HOV lane like a trip down the Autobahn, complete with scared to death screaming and nails digging in my legs, my speed racer husband mumbled from inside his little car, “A hundred?”

“No,” said the cop, “I clocked you at 123.”

I could’ve killed Shawn. He's supposed to be saving lives at work, not running them over on the way. I know I’m not perfect. I’m a regular at defensive driving school for the occasional over-the-limit speed, or a roll through a stop sign or a once in a while glance at a text, but this was serious. Mr. Man With The Gun could have taken Felony Shawn to jail right then and there, leaving me by the side of the road to ponder things like bail, work release programs, hiring a replacement for him at the office, gay prison sex, or saying to our daughter, Shana, “Look, Honey, there’s Dad over there in the orange jumpsuit.”

I wanted him to suffer. He should suffer. But since that somehow required also making me suffer, I dropped my holier-than-thou, our-justice-system-isn’t-fair, who’s-fighting-for-the-little-guy-while-those-Richie-Riches-pay-everybody-off attitude. Shawn’s Get Out Of Jail Free card cost fifteen hundred bucks and his sleazy but smart new attorney made the whole thing disappear.

I knew that car would be trouble. Instead of Porsche it should be called Spoiled Brat. He spends hours massaging the leather, polishing the paint, going over every inch with high-end products and towels he hand washes himself in Woolite, lovingly draping them all over the house to air dry. This from a guy that can’t pick up his socks. When he’s not with the car, he’s thinking about it, researching parts and accessories, talking to other car addicts online, gazing at each other’s beauties like car porn.

Meanwhile, my big, white four-door is a freak show. It's full of wrinkled clothes, sticky Diet Pepsi spills, mismatched shoes and days worth of fast food wrappings. Shawn actually shakes when I get in his car, knowing that the greasy lotion and drippy lip-gloss I’m about to use translates into another hour of maintenance when they’re back in the garage, just the two of them, making my chances for a little attention drop to zero.

After a few months in the doghouse, Shawn was back at it, speeding, coming home one day with his head hanging low. “I’m selling the car,” he said. “It’s already on the Internet. I mean it.” This time it was 60-something in a 35. Busy street. Rush hour. Still a felony. He said something about not being able to get his foot off the accelerator. Yeah, right. The lawyer, now on speed dial, didn’t get any cash for making ticket number two disappear. Instead, Shawn traded him something for his fee - a gun, a watch, a blowjob - I don't know. I don't want to know. But he didn’t dare touch the checkbook and I figure that, at least, is progress.

These days, the little yellow car has an alarm that goes off when the speedometer hits 45, sort of like a Pavlovian neutering device. To make up for the wimpy bell, Shawn took off the muffler and now drives around thinking he sounds more like a badass, wreaking havoc on the environment as well as our neighbors’ peace and quiet. I yell at him as we rumble down the road, “It sounds like a lawnmower!”

“WHAT?” he says. He can’t even hear me anymore.

Maybe that was the idea.

Look what Santa brought. At least this one has a muffler.

Holla Holla Holla Happy Hour

2012-01-05T21:32:00.000-07:00

Party on the Patio for a Happy New Year Happy Hour with four generations showing up to toast in the new year.

Hippy Chick

2012-01-03T20:39:00.001-07:00

San Francisco with your Mom.

San Francisco with your boyfriend.

Locked up at Alcatraz

Just sayin'...

Movie Madness - Shame

2012-01-02T15:10:00.000-07:00

Movie Madness 2012 kicked off the new year by getting down and dirty. Really down and dirty. Whoa. Deep, dark drama about sex, boundaries, perspective and trying to survive all those Catholic little secrets from childhood. Incredible.

2011-12-31T11:13:00.001-07:00

So wordy...

2011-12-30T07:06:00.003-07:00

Shana was my first friend. Not friend friend. Not even Facebook friend. But friend in Words with Friends. Now I'm hooked. Her "name" is iwillwinheart, but it's spelled wrong, something like iwillwinherat (I just love a little irony). Since she had such a grandiose name, I went with

icandoanything

and I'm addicted. I've got several friends now and we just play, play, play, Scrabbling for days. I know it's a distraction from life, but I figure it's a good brain exercise. Alzheimer's prevention.

Wanna play?

Coop Flyer

2011-12-27T19:45:00.000-07:00

The other day I pulled out some sandals from Shana's suitcase in an attempt to shut it. We had the same problem last year at this time, before a five month trip to Spain. Too much stuff. Not enough bag. This year it's a ten day trip to Boyfriendville, off to Cali to see this guy

so it's not as hard. But here I am again, left with discarded shoes that didn't make the cut, a dried out Christmas tree and an empty nest.

Circle of Life

2011-12-27T19:03:00.002-07:00

We lost a patient on Saturday. Too young. Too soon. I keep seeing his wife's face.

Heading up in the elevator this afternoon with the OB from down the hall, just back from his across the street jog from the hospital, I asked, "Any new babies today?"

"Yep," he said, smiling, "just ten minutes ago."

Made me smile, too.

Voter Fraud

2011-12-27T18:41:00.000-07:00

If you can't beat 'em, cheat 'em.

It's been a banner year for changing the laws to make voting more difficult. Here, read this. Here's one more example of how some people just don't want some of us to vote. Except for today. Today, Perry filed a lawsuit in Virginia since he didn't get enough signatures to make it on the primaries ballot. He wants to change the rules to make Virginia more like the other states, giving him a little more edge since he didn't follow the rules the first time around. So much for states rights. This, from a guy that a few months ago wanted Texas to secede.

Leapin' Lizards

2011-12-26T16:06:00.000-07:00

Annie's coming to town!

Ho Ho Ho

2011-12-25T21:39:00.000-07:00

Hope the holiday is full of sweet things.

Movie Madness - My Week WIth Marilyn

2011-12-25T15:28:00.000-07:00

Took a little break from all the ho ho ho-ing for an extra credit movie madness with Shana - that's right, Christmas Day - do NOT tell Fox News!

Great trip into Marilyn's world...

Rock Around The Christmas Tree

2011-12-23T13:57:00.000-07:00

Some holiday lights from Amy in Rockefeller Center.

I Got You, Babe

2011-12-23T10:39:00.001-07:00

Shawn hacked the JibJab account and went crazy...

I Got You, Babe

Chippendale Shawn :)

Good in the Hood

2011-12-22T22:07:00.000-07:00

God, it's like we're still in seventh grade with this crowd, hanging out at the Tavern for a bit of holiday cheer, it's never long before the conversation heads south, way down to the pink underwear.

Book Club Bonfire

2011-12-21T23:14:00.000-07:00

You can't keep the good girls down. Not even the craziness of the holidays could stop the book club from the BYOB at the bonfire at Save The Day Leslie's backyard mountain preserve. Flames were flying, lasagna was bubbling and gifts for the ruleless white elephant ornament gift exchange

were calling as Little Baby Jesus came from above. Perhaps in celebration of his Jewishness, Jaye showed up in a menorah reindeer headband with some herring salad.

Yum.

Bag Ladies - Lucky Number 7 and the new rubber chicken for interviews

I traded the most stunning, spectacularly shiny Winter Solstice crystal I've ever seen for this,

while others walked away with a sexy leg lamp, a box of Joe Joes, a mini mini pink CAbi dress, a gold stiletto, a snowflake mug and more, more, more.

In our yearly tradition, we passed the savior, thanking the circle, stealing, plagiarizing, ditto, ditto, dittoing for the soft place to land during a hard year, the health, the happiness, the trees and the I love us-es.

We never got around to the book. Poor Wes Moore and the other Wes Moore, we may never read about you two.

But I'm absolutley sure a bunch of hot desert Divas snuggling around some flames beats a couple of guys from Baltimore any day.

Boots, beer and a bonfire...

Happy Holidays

2011-12-21T06:52:00.000-07:00

2011 Holiday Card

Festival of Lights

2011-12-20T20:58:00.000-07:00

Kicked off Hanukkah at Old Wildcat's, complete with candles and prayers and latkes and even the two square rule story, reminding us that we have a lot to be thankful for this year.

The Protester

2011-12-20T14:15:00.000-07:00

Speak up. Time's Person of the Year is The Protester. People around the world have been shouting, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!" And it's working. Some dictators are gone. Some governments are changing. The media are now focused on the 99% rather than the all-powerful 1%. There's now talk of income inequality. The billionaires are getting upset. Banks are even returning some of the loot. It's getting louder out there outside of the bubble. Can you hear it?

Stress Management

2011-12-20T12:03:00.000-07:00

Cookies and Cocktails

2011-12-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

The hottest ticket in town! Writers galore filling up on cookies, sangria and gossip, sharing the scoop on the latest public figure that's about to go down, or the coolest new restaurant in town or the latest and greatest book you must pick up, all while adorable kids run around and around, sweetly smiling up as they grab another amazing frosted star. Perfection.

Cat Fight

2011-12-18T09:22:00.000-07:00

Zach The Wildcat

2011-12-17T10:42:00.000-07:00

'

2011-12-16T14:35:00.000-07:00

Yay!

Miss Smarty Pants did it again (I'm chalking up the missing apostrophe to one of life's funny ironies, or, according to Shana, speed texting).

Yay!

Do You Sees What I Sees?

2011-12-15T11:43:00.001-07:00

The office in December - a dangerous, dangerous, chocolatey place...

Rockin' Ronnie's Rendevous

2011-12-14T21:58:00.006-07:00

It's not about the horse, it's about Ronnie!

Gathered the gang for a birthday celebration.

Pass the wine and cucumbers.

The CAbi and fur.

The wrap-around booth.

A petite ya ya even showed up.

The cards and presents fit for the princess she is.

Chocolate bomb for the blonde bombshell. Blow! I hope your wish comes true :)

Phoestivus Market

2011-12-14T09:32:00.000-07:00

Celebrate the holidays and buy your gifts locally at the same time! Outdoor market is hosting Phoestivus, an expanded holiday market to fill your gift bags and boxes.

PHX Phoestivus Market

War and Peace

2011-12-14T09:16:00.001-07:00

The war's over. Our amazing troops that worked so hard are coming home - well, 4,000 fewer of them that went. We went to "liberate" but ended up killing over 100,000 people and since that's not enough to win hearts and minds, we built a $750 million dollar embassy, just so everybody knows that we're never, ever leaving.

"Lisa, Line One"

2011-12-13T20:35:00.002-07:00

It's always bad news. "Lisa, line one," means I'm in trouble. I'm about to get yelled at. I got a bill from the lab. You used the wrong code. My drugs aren't covered. My insurance sucks. Fix it. Fix it. Fix it.
But today I picked up and I could hear the patient smiling. Hi Lisa! She wanted to tell me all about her new insurance plan. One of the Medicare Advantage plans. Zero premium. Zero copay. Good drug coverage. I kept waiting for the complaint, but it never came. I thought about how we've helped this lady over the years, spending hours hunting down deals on procedures and meds, just to get her through to the next month, weaving her though the health care maze and how hard it must have been for her to ask for help. On my way out tonight I ran into some more patients, an older couple handing over their new 2012 cards for us to scan. They were happy, too. Less expensive. More coverage. Smiling as they spoke about insurance. Unheard of for the past decade. Little by little, we're seeing some changes this year. I got a free Mammogram instead of dipping into my massive deductible. Seniors saved an average of $500 this year on medication costs. Patients got physicals without a copay. This week the Department of Health and Human Services ruled that insurance companies need to spend 80% of the premiums they bring in on actual patient care. Not on marketing. Not on lobbyists. Not on some twenty-year-old in Bangalore denying an MRI while playing Angry Birds. Actual patient care. Imagine that.

I may start answering the phone more often.

Need To No

2011-12-13T06:03:00.000-07:00

I must be allergic to pine and cinnamon because it happens this time every year. The scrooge comes out. The bah hum bug. The no, no, nos. The decorating, the packed calendar, the shopping, the gimmie, gimmie, gimmies. Someone needs a long winter's nap...

Movie Madness - New Year's Eve

2011-12-12T14:48:00.000-07:00

Oohhh...so shiny!! I have to throw my Movie Madness peeps a little eye candy every now and then, right? The bar was oh so low to begin with and it just got worse from there. Cliche-filled, moronic, predictable attempt to separate a bunch of people from seven dollars. The gang cried tears of joy from laughing so hard at the absurdity and tried to remember all the sappy one-liners to throw at each other at a later date. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one!

Birthday Boy

2011-12-12T09:01:00.000-07:00

Carefree Christmas Festival

2011-12-10T17:54:00.000-07:00

The Ho Ho Hos just couldn't seem to get through the holidays without a little touchy feely from Santa,

heading to the North Pole for our annual Carefree Celebration, where it's good to be Queen,

for a spot of holiday tea and scones and getting into a little trouble with the Big Guy himself.

Two Doors Down

2011-12-09T22:57:00.000-07:00

Twelve neighbors laughing
Eleven bottles clinking
Ten rows of garland
Nine around the island
Eight plans a making
Seven songs a singing
Six moms a-mingling
Fiiiiive golden rings
Four house tours
Three Christmas trees
Two doors down
For one great party

Pedi Bear

2011-12-09T14:24:00.000-07:00

The pink shoe pedi bear.

Gimme a C

2011-12-08T21:15:00.004-07:00

You can take the girl out of the book club, but you can't take the book club out of the girl. Our stunning Cathy flew the coop and deserted us for Denver this summer, but when it came time for her BIG 50th, we knew she couldn't stay away.

We kicked off her full-dance-card-four-day-long-extravaganza at Prado where we got a glimpse of the new Nordstrom's outfit, complete with sparkly Champagne colored stilettos,

caught up on all things Denver, fell in love with KC, with her amazing hoo ha, Larry the Longboarder and feathers, too. We opened presents and played musical chairs and pretty much just livened up the joint until she turned around and left us yet again, heading down the street for a little Sanctuary.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cathy - it's good to have you back!

eReeeeader

2011-12-08T15:14:00.003-07:00

I fought it as long as I could. I love real books. I love the library. I love the whole free--dom of it. I can walk down the greenbelt to my library, or from home there's a great online catalog and they email me when something's ready for pick-up - at the drive-thru! There's even a coffee cart for lattes in there. Plus, have you ever spoken to a librarian? Ssoooo nice. I've sort of looked down on ereaders for the past few years, not able to give up my old ways. I just noticed that the photo I swiped from cyberspace has the Lovely Bones on it - a book that I couldn't get through. It came out when Shana was in Singapore with Amy and I thought one's baby should be home and safe if you're going to read something about a girl getting chopped up. I just looked at that unopened book on my nightstand like some kind of good luck charm and waited for her to get home. You can't get that from a machine. Later, on a whirlwind trip to Amsterdam, pal Louise showed up at the airport with a brand new Kindle selecting from lots of stuff with the swipe of a finger while I lugged hardcovers and Fodor's in my carry-on, giving me my own kind of comfort, just heavier. The other day, in need of next week's book club selection, the library only had the electronic version, so I bit the bullet and pushed the iPad button. Still free. Still due back in two weeks. But way cooler.

Now my other books are lonely.

Gals in da 'hood

2011-12-06T23:04:00.003-07:00

Leave it to Carla to get the old gang back together again. And I mean really old (but at least we all still look exactly the same!). I haven't seen some of these ladies since Shana's eighth grade graduation and tonight it was like no time had passed.

We had some more recent, well, this decade, at least, Workshop moms, too,

and kept finding more and more connections as the Gals In Da 'Hood-themed cranberry cocktails and crapshoot soup in Carla's perfect Christmas home swirled around talk of my, how the kids have grown, upcoming graduations, little brothers now with goatees, baseball, ex-husbands, the new 2 1/2 dates man, and one more old time Phoenix gal, Rusty Warren, who would have fit right in with this crowd and reminded us not to go so long until we see each other again.

Ted (and Tania)

2011-12-06T10:38:00.000-07:00

If you're smart, you love TED. All those brilliant people on the Ted talks, giving us all kinds of info. Well, Ted's coming to Scottsdale, thanks to the amazing Tania Katan. She'll be talking about this:

Grids are networks of lines, but what if our lines are made of curves, circles, desires, and natural fibers? Can we recreate infrastructure from storytelling, sailing, sparkling fruit juice, and self-sufficiency?
With traditional employment, aid, and funding at an all time low, rethinking the traditional grid is vital to our social and economic resilience. And who better to speak about creating new frameworks for thriving with little-to-no resources than artists, writers, and creative thinkers? 12/10

Scottsdale Snow

2011-12-05T16:45:00.002-07:00

North Scottsdale today. Really.

If the shoe fits...

2011-12-05T15:45:00.000-07:00

Ouch. Ever since I attended the God Save My Shoes melee and was told that the highest you could go up on your foot without tumbling over was 5 inches, I wanted to try it out. Somewhere between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, Shana and I were out and about when I spotted these big, black, beautiful babies. Some fancy designer, marked way down, I shoved my feet in and tried to walk. My right foot was so cramped it didn't move, so I had to sort of limp on the good one. It seemed like these had at least a 6 inch heel, and with the 1 or so inch platform, I was ready for my test.

Total failure. It felt like I was on top of a skyscraper with the wind rushing my back, as I tried to force my body back to avoid falling over the side. I made it two steps. By then, the shoes were almost glued to my feet and I couldn't kick them off, so I bent my knees, squatted, and somehow, totally sans grace, thank God I was way in the back in the clearance section, got down on my butt and used both hands to get them off.

Stunning move, not seen in the film.

Movie Madness - Melancholia

2011-12-05T14:46:00.000-07:00

Somebody forgot to take their Lexapro and by the time the movie was over, we were all a bit depressed. An amazing effort, though. Gorgeous, arty scenes - like walking through a museum sometimes, then like walking past lots of people I know at others. Kirsten Dunst was perfect. There was A Tree of Life feel, like it should have been broken up into two separate films, one, an emotional study in families and personalities, the other, more scientific and surreal. But thanks to the seat mates, we laughed our way through it. Better than any drug. Who's crazy now?

Forks Over Knives

2011-12-04T07:14:00.003-07:00

We're killing ourselves. We're killing our kids. While sharing an amazing kale salad with some amigas the other night, I was finally convinced to get around to watching Forks Over Knives for yet another reminder of how America is totally screwed up. We eat so much meat and dairy and corn syrup, all subsidized by the government and then suffer from diabetes and heart disease and breast cancer and prostate cancer, jacking up our health care costs by taking numerous medications and having our chests cracked opened, making the insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies wealthy and the rest of us poorer. And the poorer you are, the more likely you'll suffer from these issues. I read the The China Study years ago, which helped my resolve not to eat meat, but somehow I've kept up the addiction to sugar, fat and caffeine, keeping the cholesterol drug makers happy and my scale oh so sad. Maybe this will be the kick in the (big) butt I need.

Off to Sprouts...

Two Men and a Lisa

2011-12-03T20:53:00.000-07:00

If you're not productive, you're sort of broken.

Adorable Hugo saved the town by fixing what was broken to find a home, leading us through beautiful Paris, ticking clocks, life-saving robots, new friendships and the magical beginning of movies. Besides being surrounded by my two best guys on a rainy Saturday, it doesn't get any better than that.

Good idea, Old Wildcat.

Fib Newton

2011-12-03T11:51:00.000-07:00

Bring on the Newt!

Someone who would never, ever, cheat on his wife.

Freaky Friday

2011-12-02T22:17:00.000-07:00

A fun Freaky Friday with the ladies, starting off at the way cool Lux for some catching up and wining

before hitting the streets. We never made it downtown, hitting the uptown favorite Frances Vintage instead. The whole parking lot was transformed into Crafeteria, crammed full of rows and rows of handmade items and gifts -

jewelry, hats, scarves, clothes, buttons, fancy papers, oils and soaps. They even had hip food trucks and an Air Stream, prompting the planning of a girls' trip to The Shady Dell in Bisbee, just because. The stores were open, too, including the little Frances, totally transformed into a Christmas wonderland with some more amazing one of a kind things. The night was gorgeous as we meandered, listing to some beautiful music and running in to so many familiar faces - it really is a small world.

The Dance

2011-12-01T17:57:00.003-07:00

I just read a wonderful essay a book club "mini me" wrote for a college class. She talked about her Mom and threw in Matisse's Dance painting and some Joan Didion and some Thoreau to describe how her own past and more recent adventures hold her up, support her, during this "dance" through life. The kid's going to be alright. It reminded me of who I hold on to, who comes in and out of the circle (even after I step on toes or squeeze too hard), the Thanksgiving weekend with family, the digging into tamale cornmeal, the sitting with a friend and another little, really little, mini me, to see cool writer, Aimee Bender, lemon cake included, surrounded by ASU energy that held me up way back when, good news today from my own mini me about her future and how happy I am that she's strong enough to hold up the circle and then my middle of the day, escape from work, yoga class where the dance continued and we went in deep, where the world isn't spinning.

Wanna dance?

WMD*

2011-11-29T20:32:00.001-07:00

*Weapons of Mass Deception

Two seconds after it was announced we're leaving Iraq, look who's moving in.

Smells pretty fishy. Don't we need some jobs over here...

Movie Madness - The Descendants

2011-11-28T17:31:00.001-07:00

Cleared out the last of the gobble, gobble, gobble and dropped off my co-descendant at the airport and single-handedly saved enough seats for the movie madness peeps, batting away the old batties with their grey hair and handbags and popcorn at the sold out show and snuggled in for an oh-I'm-so-thankful Monday movie. Clooney was great, by George, and so were his "daughters". Hawaii, so beautiful. Story, a bit strange, but good for some laughs and some more post-Thanksgiving reflection about what's important in life.

Hot Tamale!

2011-11-27T18:09:00.000-07:00

New Times Chow Bella

Who says the Segal Sisters can't cook? We gave it our best shot drying, smearing, spooning, folding, bending until the pot was full. Bueno!

Gobble, Gobble, Gobble

2011-11-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Simple Farm

2011-11-23T15:26:00.001-07:00

Wow - I wish you could smell this. Basil, tarragon, parsley, other stuff, freshly cut.

I had to go Downtown to find a gem in my own backyard. New groovy friend, Kathy, is a real foodie and the other night mentioned The Simple Farm, just down the street from me on 90th and Cactus. It's been there a couple of years and I've driven past dozens of times, but have never even noticed it. Shawn needed some herbs for his famous roasted root vegetable dish for Thanksgiving, so we stopped by and were totally drawn in by an amazing lady. Red lipstick, cool boots, probably a former hippie, and totally adorable. She gave us the private tour, snipping herbs along the way, filling up the silver platter she gave us to hold. When Shawn turned his nose up at the thought of radishes, she gave him some as a gift

and told him to sauté them and they would be the sweetest thing ever.

She was right. Yum. She loaded us up with herbs and we couldn't resist some apple butter, strawberry/honey jam and some goat's milk/lavender soap. All handmade right there. Check out these eggplant.

What a fun place. The Simple Farm.

Shawn And The Giant Orange Shirt

2011-11-23T05:44:00.001-07:00

I've never liked that shirt. For one, it's orange. That should be enough of a reason, really, to just walk on by anything in the store. Nobody looks good in orange. Well, maybe redheads, and I'm pretty sure it was a gift from Shawn's Mom, total redhead. She can pull off this color, so she must have figured he could, too. He has red tones in his hair, I guess, and sometimes when he doesn't shave for awhile, his beard looks sort of red. That must be why he gets away with not looking all peachy like most people would. Two, it's massive. Total roominess and he's in love. I've washed it a lot, and ironed it, but for the past several years, it's dry clean only since the guy wears it so much and I have other stuff to do. It's a fancy Tommy Bahama and holding up great (no, there's not a pina colada on the back). On the way home last night I asked him what he thought he might do if one day, someday, maybe, just possibly, the shirt is no longer with us.

He just shook his head and looked sort of lost.

Party On, Noah!

2011-11-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

Noah kickin' it 80s style.

Suddenly, all I can hear are Wham songs...

Super Committee Goes Down

2011-11-21T18:36:00.000-07:00

Maybe the term "Super Committee" was a bit overzealous. As Rick Perry says, "You shouldn't go around thinking you're the superest guy in the room." Banks win. Corporations rule. Pizza is a vegetable again. Yay! Wait, that one's not the Super Committee's fault. But still, Yay!

This guy seems to have given up.

Maybe I'll call my Super Committee SuperSenator to see if he'll listen.

Hey there, Superman. Remember me? From back in the day? Birthday parties with your daughter? Hopi Hullabaloo cake walks. The old times when there wasn't so much fighting? I was so cute back then. You weren't bad yourself. Now how about a sweet little vote for your old neighbor? Huh? I know you're leaving big, bad Washington soon after a nice, long, profitable run, but just for old time's sake. Raise a few taxes. Just a few. Come on. Tell your Superhero friends. Put on your cape and get out your pen. You can do it.

Movie Madness - Like Crazy

2011-11-20T17:23:00.000-07:00

How THANKFUL am I for Movie Madness?
Like Crazy!

Nice little love story, great acting, hoped for a happy ending - but that just went down the drain...

Hidden in the Hills Art Studio Tour

2011-11-20T16:42:00.001-07:00

There are more fun things to do than drive around Carefree on a fall Arizona weekend looking at art, but I can't think of any. Mr. Man With The Map Shawn led the way as we traversed the beautiful hills on a stunning day in search of art, peeking into some gorgeous homes full of paintings, sculptures, ceramics, photography, jewelry - amazing. And everybody was soo nice and welcoming. May have something to do with living in Carefree and creating art every day, seems to clear the stress out of the brain. We saw some wildlife (a half second away from stepping on a four foot snake), had a delish lunch at Cafe Bink and rolled back down the hill after a perfect day.

Hidden in the Hills Studio Tour

A Bitchin' Time

2011-11-19T23:48:00.033-07:00

When you get through the doorman and walk into a swanky CenPho apartment and this is the first thing you see, you know it's going to be a good night. My Bono. Looks a little Gangsta there, but that's OK. There's Springsteen off to the right for you Jersey Girls, but cool Jill knows who needs to be front and center. She knows all about design - it's her day job and it definitely shows. Wow, right out of a magazine.

There's Kathy modeling on the bed and an amazing Snow White mirror in the boudoir.

We had some of Amy's soon-to-be-world-famous grapefruitcellos on the 10th floor balcony, watching the glittery city down below and heard all about a new Facebook Prince Charming, the needs-a-lint-roller chemical peel, the upcoming Tulum retreat and the elevator rules - no Chinese food or Starbucks, no bags, no young divorcees, and definitely no renters, before heading to Space55 to check out A Bitch In Time. Kim and Sativa brought down the house! Jaw-dropping incredible.

I'm still processing the pointy-boobed guy in drag and the camel-toed Superwoman's coal-exploding chest. Since we're so tragically hip (ha!), we ended the night at Lux Central, where the tragically hip live and breathe, where we laughed at blue typewriters, named drinks, pointed and whispered as I wondered whether it was good or bad to be with the head honcho after a not so great review (turns out, good) and topped it all off with a little Stripper 101 lesson in the parking lot - give him a cookie, take it away, give him a cookie, take it away...

Mothers Who Write - Mothers Who Wine - Mothers Who Whine

Oh, shit.

2011-11-19T16:18:00.000-07:00

Pub Crawl

2011-11-18T22:17:00.001-07:00

Whoa - it's been a busy week for the ladies, I'm just about worn out. We checked out the hip patio at Tommy V's in Old Town for some yummy food, trekked through the yet again renamed and revamped Saguaro Hotel (yuk - good luck, guys, you're going to need it) then settled at the always classy AZ88 to end our little pub crawl lipstick call. Lots of fun, laughs, a bit of going deep and, of course, some boob grabbing...

Mothers Who Knight (Rise)

2011-11-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

Last class of Mothers Who Write tonight back at the incredible Knight Rising space at SMOCA. We visited there a few weeks ago and it inspired some great essays that had since been workshopped and cleaned up before we read them tonight under the stars (well, star, I only saw one) in front of a real live audience, always so scary. We had cookies and punch while tales of a non-Type A daughter, a prom night, a mud hut and a better than Pat Benatar live rendition of Hit Me With Your Best Shot circled the cocoon-like exhibit to round out the evening.

Gobble, Gobble, Gobble

2011-11-16T23:18:00.000-07:00

A non-book club book club, just a gobble, gobble, gobble gathering with the ladies. No book, but we do have a new slogan, penned by our very own Jaye.

Leslie told a dirty joke - it was either the "how do you get over a man - by getting under another one" one or the one about the hemophiliac, hard to remember, when, following the punch line, Jaye yelled out, "I love us!" We're not getting rid of A Drinking Club With A Reading Problem just yet, but check your local stores for I Love Us! bumper stickers soon.

We had stoup and soup and salad and meatballs and pumpkin martinis and a wine tasting.

We contemplated buggy pine cones, how you get to the Y near Beaver Bay in Wisconsin there, don'tcha know, fishnet stockings, Michael Jackson, the Friends and Family discounts at Macy's. There must have been some contemplation about important, worldly, intelligent matters, but nothing's coming to me right now. Jo and Carla were in there somewhere, too, but seemed to escape the paparazzi.

A guy came a knockin' as the clock struck ten. Adorable new Tom, poor thing didn't know what hit him until Super Gobbler, Louise, pushed all of us turkeys out the door before he could get away.

No official book, but here are some recommendations:
Room by Emma Donoghue (just finished it - totally original, creative, disturbing - couldn't put it down)

From the other readers: Poisoned, Marriage Plot, Blue Nights by Joan Didion, Same Kind of Different Like Me

WWJD?*

2011-11-15T09:47:00.009-07:00

*What Would Joe Do?

A couple of weeks ago, I had no idea who Joe Paterno was. I barely know the difference between a tight end and a jock strap. What I do know is that every single day, somebody tells us there is a big white guy with his dick where it shouldn't be. Molesting his daughter. Screwing the choirboy. Raping a stranger. EVERY SINGLE DAY. You're just not listening. You're like Joe. It's happening right now. There's a guy in the shower with a ten year old boy this very minute. In your neighborhood. Don't believe me? Call your Child Protection Services office for a few statistics. Do some research. Look it up. It's right in front of you, but you're ignoring it. We're all ignoring it.

Do something.

99.9

2011-11-14T20:30:00.004-07:00

No, it's not Herman Cain's 999 Tax Plan, it's CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!! Now 24/7 on KEZ 99.9.

I can't seem to turn it off...